Bistro Scene

Wannabe francophone visitor (ingratiatingly): "Est-ce-qu'on dit eau minerale con gas ou eau minerale con gaz?"

Waitress (with obvious amusement, but gently): "Monsieur, ici en France on ne dit pas con. On dit avec."

Wfv (crushed): "Oh yes, of course. Thank you."

Damn those Spaniards!